My Time Earning Money from Medical Research

Published by Johnny on February 20, 2010

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So I returned from America with some heavy debts and no life plan, Vegas hadn’t been kind to my bank balance and I had no idea where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do next.

My $4000 AUD overdraft was my most pressing concern though! So the situation was this… It was September 2006, I had come back from an awesome trip in America, that awesome trip had racked up some debt that need paying off asap(not to mention that my student interest-free overdraft facility was about to expire as I was no longer a student :S), I know I wanted to travel soon but I was in no position to fund any far fetched plan. For those of you who know Northern Ireland, and more specifically Kilkeel my home town of 6000 ppl, it’s not exactly bulging with opportunities for a recent International Economics graduate. I needed quick cash in abundance – to me that left only one possible scenario…… MEDICAL RESEARCH

For those not in the medical research loop, the premise is basically that huge pharmaceutical companies can’t release new drugs until they have been tested on ‘willing’ guinea pigs (of the human variety). The pharma companies therefore undertake medical research whereby they offer significant compensation to people who are willing to let them test their drugs on you, after you have signed 7 million disclaimers of course, saying if you die from your head exploding it’s not their fault.

So I scoured the internet for medical research/clinical trials and stumbled across MDS in Belfast. They were running a study that lasted one whole month and paid $5000 AUD tax free – perfect. I called up and enquired. Basically the deal was:

• You get locked in their private hospital with 20 other people for 30 days
• You can’t leave under any circumstances, if you leave you don’t get paid
• You can’t do any exercise whatsoever
• You can only eat when they tell you to, and then you have to eat exactly what they give you regardless of whether you like it you must finish it
• You can’t have any visitors
• You take drugs twice a day and get 12 vials of blood taken
• You wake up at 5.45am (to take the first set of drugs) and go to sleep at 10.30pm

That was the deal. I passed my stringent medical and off i went. I thought it would be a breeze BUT 30 days, locked in 2 rooms, with no escape, surrounded by people you don’t like is a looooooooooong f*cking time! According to my observations, there are 3 types of people who do medical research

1. The educated youth: People taking a year out before university or after university, or on a trip around the world and need some extra cash, you get the picture
2. Retired peeps. People who have retired and may not necessarily need the money but a quick $5000 can buy them the new lawnmower they’ve always wanted or whatever
3. Pikeys. Or chavs, townies – you know the type. Bigots, racists, unemployed boozers who are a drain on society! They can’t get a job so they resort to medical research. This group probably makes up most of the demographics of trialists.

As with everything in life, 30 days came and 30 days went and I made it out alive with no repercussions. I would highly recommend medical research to any budding traveller short of some cash or any student on uni holidays, lots of cash for not so much work. Just make sure you hold enough mental strength to deal with talking to pikeys all days and you’ll be grand.

I paid off my debt, did a couple of weeks labouring work and suddenly I had a couple of grand to play with and my whole life ahead of me… I guess this was truly the start of my life as a serial backpacker. Thank you very much MDS belfast

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