TUESDAY’S TRAVEL RANT: The same old sales pitch

Published by Johnny Ward on July 19, 2011

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You can try to get off the beaten track all you want but it’s inevitable that eventually you’ll end up in yet another bloody tourist market, selling the same wooden frogs, the same fake football shirts and of course the same ubiquitous tailored suits.

The hard sell gets ramped up as 3 people try to persuade this unlucky chap that buying 4 suits to squeeze into his backpack would of course be "a great idea"

These markets have their place, of course they do – they give you a great opportunity to to replenish your shrinking  clothes stash (see another rant about the laundry services around the world, grrrrrr), and its’s always an entertaining way to spend a couple of hours watching tourists try on stupid ‘local’ hats but please God can someone teach these suit guys a new sales pitch?!!?

Them: “Hey bro/mate – want a new suit”

Me: “I don’t want to buy anything thanks”

Them: “No worries/problem mate, where you from?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t want anything”

Them: “No problem, where you from? England? Australia”

Me: Ignore them blankly, walk on.

Literally within 10 meters:

Another one of them: “Hey bro – want a new suit?”

Me: SIGH “No thanks”

Them: “No worries – where you from mate?”

Me: Violently bash the guy to death while shouting, “I’m from Ireland MATE, ok IRELAND, BLOODY IRELAND – DO YOU HEAR THAT? AAAAAAGH – NOW HOW DOES THAT AFFECT YOU?? – I’M STILL NOT BUYING ANYTHING FROM YOU!!!!”

The next time someone tries to flog you anything around the world, and they open with “Hey bro, where u from?” – please please please explain to them that although you understand they’re trying to build a rapport with you before they try the hard sell, it’s not going to work. Thank you and good bye. That feels good to get off my chest.

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