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I’m not sure about the name of these things, but you know what I mean right? The conveyer belt things you find in airports and malls,   where you walk on them and they move in the same direction thereby taking you to your destination even faster?

Get out of my f*cking way please aaaaaaaaagh

These things should be a joy to use, the perfect partner to anyone who is in a bit of a hurry, they helping us chill out and relax, where a leisurely walking pace can seem like power walking with the ground we cover – who could ask for anything more? Until you see that group of idiots standing there, thinking they’re getting escorted from A to B. That’s not what they’re there for you retard! They’re there to speed up our walking, to free up people traffic not to back it up as we  allstand behind you, your fat wife and your obnoxious kid smirking at the fact that you don’t even have to walk anymore,   get walking you lazy b*stards. Or, if that proves too much of an effort (God forbid you actually have to exert any energy) then at least stand to one side, or is that too much of an effort too?!


Little do you know that I’m 2 feet behind you, summoning every ounce of self restraint so I don’t barge past you, pick you up at the waist and throw you over the side of the conveyer belt, where in my make-believe world everyone would stop and applaud me for removing the fools who refused to walk on the conveyer.


Next time you guys see this, I expect you to dish out some form of mild punishment (nothing too serious, but violence is encouraged). If we act in unison we may iron this frustrating feature out of society before it’s too late. Power to the people.

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0 thoughts on “Tuesday’s Travel Rant: Walking escalator things

  1. I didn;t even realise how much this annoyed me until I read this!!!! It’s gonna frustrate me even more from now on -thanks for that!@! What’s your policy on the ones that go up or down a floor in airports then Johnny?!?! Auto-ramps if you will.

    1. They’re not so bad actually, altho still bloody annoying. What p*sses me off about those things is that when you’re in a rush on those things and you can’t move quickly cos your trolley sticks in the floor. AAAAARGGGGGGH

  2. They are generally known as a ‘moving walkway’. I think in the USA they may be called ‘moving sidewalks’ although from my experience they tend not to always be at the side of the concourse leading to the departure lounge.

    It is really aggravating when people just stand still on these machines and to the left and right so that you can not overtake them. It is at times like this that you need a cattle prod.

  3. I KNEW I shouldn’t have read his post… just reading the title got my stress levels up.
    And I don’t know if I can join you in dishing out mild punishment to eradicate it either.. I am likely to do way more harm than I intended.
    From this comment you would never know I’m a quiet girl who’s never shown any violence to anyone… yet. :-/

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