I’m Irish and my first language is English, I studied French throughout high school and most of university but it’s pretty weak. I’ve lived in Thailand on and off during my travels and my Thai is ok, but not fluent at all. I appreciate, more than anyone, the ability to speak more than one language. This, my friends, is a sentiment seemingly exclusive to me. Get your act together you morons.

Grading your language

You’re in another country. Let’s say Thailand, because it’s so close to my heart. You speak zero thai, fair enough, you’ve never studied it BUT you are in Thailand. You want to order a beer, or a burger, or buy a movie ticket whatever. I assume you’re going to speak in English in hope that the person serving you will understand.


Now this is already quite an arrogant assumption but I’m being friendly so we’ll let that slide. A step too far however, is this:


“Hey bro, I’ll just grab a couple of cold ones please mate oh and maybe throw a burger my way too. Make it a big ‘un.”


Cue levels of confusion beyond belief. The confusion, ironically, though will not be from the Thai staff member (or the nationality of the country you happen to be in) it will be from the dude ordering whatever it is he’s ordering not being able to comprehend why the server couldn’t understand his order. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.


Mistake number 1: You assume they speak English, even though we’re in THEIR country. Ok ok ok, English is the global language so lets swiftly move onto the crux of my rant…


Mistake number 2: Yes he/she may speak a bit of English, they may even speak pretty good English BUT what they won’t be able to do is understand your stupid accent, your stupid colloquial slang or the ridiculous speed you seem to be speaking at.


So listen up… here’s a step by step guide how to not be an idiot when you’re communicating in English overseas…


1)   Speak slowly. That means slowly. One more time – slowly.

2)   Grade your language. Don’t be overly verbose, keep your tenses simple where possible and use nouns, adjectives and verbs that people would learn early on in their language learning.

3)   If people aren’t understanding, try to rephrase what your saying. DON’T JUST REPEAT IT TIME AND TIME AGAIN, WITH ADDED VOLUME. THAT’S NOT GONNA WORK.

4)   Never ever ever resort to bullsh*t pigeon English. This is expediting the death of the English language. Example:

THE WRONG WAY: “Any clue what time the bus might be popping by?”

THE RIGHT WAY: “What time does the bus come?”

THE HORRIBLE, SEX TOURIST WRONG WAY: “What time bus come?”… what are you? An idiot? Clearly.


It’s not rocket science. Show a little compassion, a little more patience and watch how much faster the world goes round. Rant over.

Remember, never travel without travel insurance! And never overpay for travel insurance!

I use HeyMondo. You get INSTANT quotes. Super cheap, they actually pay out, AND they cover almost everywhere, where most insurance companies don't (even places like Central African Republic etc!). You can sign-up here. PS You even get 5% off if you use MY LINK! You can even sign up if you're already overseas and traveling, pretty cool.

Also, if you want to start a blog...I CAN HELP YOU!

Also, if you want to start a blog, and start to change your life, I'd love to help you! Email me on johnny@onestep4ward.com. In the meantime, check out my super easy blog post on how to start a travel blog in under 30 minutes, here! And if you just want to get cracking, use BlueHost at a discount, through me.

Also, (if you're like me, and awful with tech-stuff) email me and my team can get a blog up and running for you, designed and everything, for $699 - email johnny@onestep4ward.com to get started.

Do you work remotely? Are you a digital nomad/blogger etc? You need to be insured too.

I use SafetyWing for my digital nomad insurance. It covers me while I live overseas. It's just $10 a week, and it's amazing! No upfront fees, you just pay week by week, and you can sign up just for a week if you want, then switch it off and on whenever. You can read my review here, and you can sign-up here!


So if you’re ready to…..

1) Change your life
2) Travel the world
3) Get paid to travel
4) Create a positive influence on others
5) Be free of offices and ‘real world’ rubbish

Then Sign Up Below and Let’s Get Started!

Follow me on Instagram @onestep4ward