This one is close to ‘home’ unfortunately so this is gonna be a lot more of a rant and a lot less humour. For any longterm readers of my site, you’ll know that when I’m taking a break from my hard-core travels, I spent my time in Thailand (Bangkok and Chiang Mai).

sex tourists

Thailand is the country closest to my heart, it’s what started this whole lifestyle of mine when I taught English there after graduating from university. I speak the language (although I wish I could speak it better!), I love the culture, the food, the religion, the nightlife, the weather, the people – literally everything.


When I’m on the road and people ask me where I live, rather than explain my complicated living arrangements of constant travel, which people often don’t believe, I tell them I live in Thailand and that I work online; which is sort of true.


Bham! Disgusting sex tourists suddenly think they have some sort of connection with me. At this juncture I’d like to add I have never, ever, ever paid for sex, nor will I. Moving on, upon hearing that I live in Thailand, this is often how the conversation goes:


D*ckhead: “You live in Thailand do ya mate? Woooooahhhhhh, I f*cking love Thailand, me. Fucking love it. Go there every f*cking year for a month or two, been 20 times, Pattaya – best place in the world mate!”


Me: “I live there yeah, I love it too. Wow, you’ve spent a lot of time there. I’m working on my Thai at the moment, it’s great but it’s really a struggle, how your Thai?


D*ckhead: “Thai, f*cking Thai?! You don’t need to speak f*cking Thai there mate, I don’t speak a word of it, me. F*ck that, haha. I know how to say ‘boom, boom how much’ haha, know what I mean mate?! $30 for a woman, $50 for two, all day long mate, all day long!”


Me: “Sorry, what did u say?”


D*ckhead: “you know mate, Thailand innit, every girl has her price there, you must f*cking love it there, banging chicks, costing next to nothing, waaaaheeeey”


I then have a choice to make, cut him down for being a horrible dude exploiting the relative strength of his currency to negate his less than aesthetic appearance or bow out gracefully, normally I choose the former with my tirade of abuse falling on deaf, ignorant ears.


So here’s a message to any sex tourist who happen across my site. There’s a reason you’re not getting any attention in your home country, address that issue long before you venture overseas and benefit from people with less money than you. How do you sleep at night? Take a good long look at yourself, do you think your ‘client’ wants to be there? If not, then imagine your daughter/sister/mother in that position and reevaluate. If you can’t comprehend that, then I probably pity you more than your victim. Loser.

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