Tuesday’s Travel Rant: Hidden F*cking Costs

I’m not even gonna rant (well, sort of not) – this is how the thought process of booking a budget airline goes:

hidden costs airlines

Wow, a flight from Ukraine to Poland for $20, that’s amazing. I’ve always wanted to go Poland. I’m booking that.

 

What? Why’s it $45 now? Oh, right it didn’t include airport taxes and fees. Bollocks, ok well I guess it’s still good value. Confirm.

 

Huh? Of course I want a f*cking bag you idiot, it’s a one-way ticket, what do you think I’m gonna do there? Spend one day in these clothes, then walk around naked in Warsaw while I wait for the washing machine to clean them? Ohhhh I see, another $20 for a bag. Wait a second, so it’s the same bloody price for my bag as it is for me? That can’t be right. I should just buy another seat for my bag then! Oh, I can’t do that? Of course I can’t, that would be much too sensible. So it’s now $65, marvelous.

 

Pass me my credit card. Oh, there’s a fee for mastercard, $4, wow, that’s steep. Well f*ck you Ryanair/Wizz air/Baltic air etc., cos I also have a visa, so HA! WTF?! A $5 charge for visa? So how the hell do I pay without paying a fee? Oh, I can’t. Well that’s just great isn’t it. $69 now.

 

Bloody hell that was exhausting. Ok, so I just turn up to the airport right? My passport is enough for my ID, right? No, wait…. What’s this small print? Oh, I need to print out my boarding card or there’s a $50 fee, what?? $50 for an A2 piece of paper, wow, that sounds fair. No problem, I’ll just dig out the printer that I carry around in my backpack? Oh I must have forgotten to pack my laserprinter Ryanair, hold on while I conveniently spend the next 3 hours in a city looking for a printer. Thanks a bunch.

 

Finally, I paid 345% of the original advertised fee, spent a whole morning finding a printer so can I finally go to Kiev airport now please, it’s not so far from the city. Hang out, this isn’t Kiev airport, this airport is 60km outside the city, wtf?! So I have to take a taxi for $30 or a one hour bus just to get here? AND it’s the same when I land, well that’s just bloody excellent, isn’t it.

 

And that’s the last f*cking time I fly with you b*stards (until I see another $20 flight and get roped in again, probably next month).

10 thoughts on “Tuesday’s Travel Rant: Hidden F*cking Costs

  1. Zofia

    hey! it’s not like that. you can have a free backpack, although it should be 55X40X20 and 10 kilos, you can print your board card earlier with no fee. about taxes and other costs Ryanair and Wizzair also have sales when they do not charge you for the extra costs m, just buy ou ticket 2 or 1,5 months before the trip. it just works like that. you have to know how travel cheap with Ryanair and Wizzair. I’m in Marrakech at this moment, flying from Poland for 340 PLN (like 80 EUR) RT, but I bought ticket in April. belive me , there is any chance you can find this prize in normal airlines…

    Reply
  2. Katie

    I’ve just gotten roped in. £45 for a return from Stansted to Stockholm, with all the other guff on top, it is now just shy of £100 (not counting the costs to actually get to/from the airport, don’t particularly want to think about that at this point in time :x). Thanks Ryanair, thanks a lot!

    Reply
  3. Josh

    This drives me nuts too.

    We just flew Air Asia from Hanoi to Bangkok. The last time we flew, we had no problems bringing our bags on. Our 36L backpacks fit on the flight better than most people’s roll-aboards, but they will never fit in the bag sizer. The lady at the check-in desk gave us the bag tags that said we were good to go (even though our bags are a good 4-5kg over the ridiculous 7kg carry-on weight limit). We go to immigration and get singled out by some lady who tests one of our backpacks in the bag sizer. Obviously it’s not going to fit, as the sizer even has extra bars inside to ENSURE that any tested bag won’t fit. We’re back to the desk, the people are nice, but say we have to check one of our bags. Now, our bags are exactly the same size, so if one doesn’t fit, the other doesn’t either. Yet, we’re allowed to take the other one on. $22 to check a bag at the desk.

    People say not to complain, because, “what do you expect? It’s a budget airline” but after all the extra fees, plus all the extra BS you have to put up with, it’s not that much cheaper. But I’ll still do it because it “feels” like I’m saving money when I book the flight!

    Reply
    1. Johnny Post author

      i hear ya josh, sounds a lot like ryanair :S im starting to think maybe paying a little extra for a ‘better’ airline might be worth the cash

      Reply

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