If you travel a fair bit, you’re gonna be in lifts all the time. 7th floor please, ground floor please. More often than not you’re gonna have your backpack strapped on, your mobility (and patience) is at an all-time low as your knackered and weighed down, you’ve just come back from a 12 hour bus journey. You just need to get out of the lift without any stress, you’re nearly there.
Elevator opens, 15 people staring blankly at you, waiting to get in the lift. Filling the doorway, removing any chance of a stress free exit. You make eye contact, but all you get is a gormless empty stare back, he’s not moving. Genius.
Calm, stay calm.
Inwardly thinking “Get out of the f*cking way, you f*cking idiot. Have you never used a f*cking lift before? Well guess what?! Yes, other people are in the lift, it’s not coming to your floor just for you, we all are also going to our own respective f*cking floors and you’re causing a massive obstruction. Now listen, if this was the first time you used a lift, I’d completely forgive you yet you seem to be working here so you probably use this lift every day, every f*cking day. So do you go through this stupid rigmarole every time you use the lift? Go straight to the sliding doors, blocking the exit, stand there and wait until the lift opens, only to be confronted by a group of people trying to get out of the lift, past you, then offer the same gormless look, surprised that people are coming out?!
Outwardly saying (through gritted teeth) “Excuse me, could I just squeeze past you mate”.
Tips for lift-dwelling retards:
1) The lift isn’t there to service only you.
2) Other people can and will expect to get in and out at any potential floor.
3) Standard etiquette dictates that you wait by the side of the entrance when waiting for, and trying to board, the lift, thereby allowing current passengers within the lift to disembark at their floor without any obstruction (read: without your stupid face standing slap bang in the way).
I look forward to your compliance.
Remember, never travel without travel insurance! And never overpay for travel insurance!
I use HeyMondo. You get INSTANT quotes. Super cheap, they actually pay out, AND they cover almost everywhere, where most insurance companies don't (even places like Central African Republic etc!). You can sign-up here. PS You even get 5% off if you use MY LINK! You can even sign up if you're already overseas and traveling, pretty cool.
Also, if you want to start a blog...I CAN HELP YOU!
Also, if you want to start a blog, and start to change your life, I'd love to help you! Email me on email@example.com. In the meantime, check out my super easy blog post on how to start a travel blog in under 30 minutes, here! And if you just want to get cracking, use BlueHost at a discount, through me.
Also, (if you're like me, and awful with tech-stuff) email me and my team can get a blog up and running for you, designed and everything, for $699 - email firstname.lastname@example.org to get started.
Do you work remotely? Are you a digital nomad/blogger etc? You need to be insured too.
I use SafetyWing for my digital nomad insurance. It covers me while I live overseas. It's just $10 a week, and it's amazing! No upfront fees, you just pay week by week, and you can sign up just for a week if you want, then switch it off and on whenever. You can read my review here, and you can sign-up here!