Sharing prostitutes in Bangladesh? Errrr, No Thanks

I should quickly add that this is my second post related to both Bangladesh and prostitutes – that’s a tad harsh on Bangladesh to be honest, but it’s just the way my travels panned out.

 

I had been in Bangladesh a week or so, we (my 2 friends and I) had taken a rocket steamer boat down to the Bay of Bengal, we disembarked in Kulna in southern Bangladesh. We were still getting the crazy stares from the bemused Bangladeshi general public when a very cheery guy came springing over with his hand extended “Welcome to Bangladesh my friends, we are so happy to have you” – with a grin the size of a Cheshire cat.

Rocket Steamer to the Bay of Bengal

Rocket Steamer to the Bay of Bengal

In countries like Bangladesh you’re just delighted that someone can speak English and help you out of any tight spots you find yourself in. This guy helped us out with some accommodation, invited us to dinner at his house, introduced us to his extended family. Then tea round at his place with his wife . Great guy – but a great guy with a different take on how to build on new friendships….

 

A couple of days later we were due to leave Kulna and our cheery friend insisted that we go and meet his special friend. It was a strange way to structure a sentence, but he was a strange dude so I let it slide. We hopped onto two rickshaws and made our way through the backstreets of Kulna for a good 30 minutes or so.

 

Bangladesh rickshaw

Our Local Transport

“We have arrived gentlemen, now come and see my special friend” HeHeHeHe – he was giggling like a little school girl, seriously. We entered this dodgy house, up two flights of dilapidated stairs  and then into an apartment. A huge fat Bangladeshi woman was waiting to greet us, our friend marched into the room, gave her a hug and kiss, turned to us and giggled again.

 

“This is my special friend, go into the room Johnny, you’re first”.

 

“First? First? Errrrrr, First for what exactly?!” Queue somemore incessant giggling and an awkward atmosphere just got a lot more awkward.

 

“First with my friend, she is so fat, so beautiful – we love the fat woman, this one is the post popular in all of Kulna”

 

What the hell is going on here?! I shared some disgustingly strange looks with my mates and looked over at our Bangladeshi friend.

 

“Don’t worry, you’re my esteemed guests – I will go fourth of course, you gentlemen can go first, second and third”

 

WTF?! Yep, our new friend is trying to make me do the deed with a grotesquely fat Bangladeshi woman, complete with full Hijab head-scarf, then 2 of my best friends are expected to follow up and finally our Bangladeshi man will complete this wonderful mixing pot with the fourth installment, and he would foot the bill. Marvelous. Needless to say, we thanked him profusely for this generous offer but our (imaginary) wives would be so upset that we couldn’t possibly accept his ‘gift’, but were it not for them – we’d be delighted. We made our excuses, asked to be shown out, arranged to meet at the train station the following day and he quickly turned right back around and straight back up the stairs to the Bangladeshi hippo waiting on the second floor. I don’t even want to imagine what happened next. And that was that.

We met the next day at the train station and not a thing was mentioned, and I certainly wasn’t keen to dredge it back up. On to India we went…

23 thoughts on “Sharing prostitutes in Bangladesh? Errrr, No Thanks

  1. Juber

    HAHAHA that was crazy and funny, trust me all Bangladeshi are not like him. you just got hooked up with wrong guy……try and visit sylhet next time and meet some people who don’t think of F…. all the time….

    Reply
  2. Juber

    HAHAHA that was crazy and funny, trust me all Bangladeshi are not like him. you just got hooked up with wrong guy……

    Reply
  3. Ed smith

    Wow. What a way to impress a guest, haha. And good job in your response to the guy with possible transference issues! I’m going to think of hateful people in a new, more constructive light

    Reply
  4. Magnets

    Oh man, somehow funny, but in its own way it’s so sad. These ladies live in some of the worst conditions imaginable and prostitute in one of the poorest countries in the world no less. I’ve traveled in similar situations where I’ve been exposed to the seedy underbelly of the more difficult sections of the 3rd world and I gotta say, man, while your post is kind of funny these people kick it in one fucking tough rodeo.

    Reply
  5. Bengali

    Dude, Ive read both of your Bangladeshi posts and just managed to get off the floor rolling around laughing. Definitely one of the most funniest posts Ive read.

    Well done mate.

    Reply
  6. Lamya Siddiqui

    Hey there!

    I am having a great time reading your posts! I am a Bangladeshi and I have to admit that Bangladeshis are a bit queer in nature especially to shada (foreigner) people like you. Yet we are full of hospitality and love for all those who come to visit our small country which sometimes leads us to take some overwhelming steps like those taken by your friend LOL. However, I am glad to see that you looked beyond what foreigners normally think of us and had fun in Dhaka!

    :)

    Reply
    1. Johnny Post author

      i loved my time in Bangladesh, really. It was one of my first ‘true’ traveling experiences, and set me up for the life i have now :)

      Reply
  7. nijhor

    Johnny,
    I found most foreigner visiting bangladesh or serving in bangladesh look around to be fucked, as most of them are bottom gays. You must be one of them, that’s why the men led you to wrong place.

    Reply
    1. Johnny Post author

      thanks for your hugely constructive input Nijhor, really helpful insight, great. Also, i googled your email address out of interest, a very interesting forum that you posted on came up, care to elaborate? :P I often find most hate is related to transference – this, evidently, is one such case

      Reply
  8. TinTin

    This is one of the most hilarious posts I’ve ever read!!! Hahahahahha.. I’m about to roll on the floor laughing!! LOL :) :) ;)

    Reply

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