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Lessons from turning 40

I turned 40 yesterday. And I do it with gratitude, with no negative attachments to getting older. Equally, I don’t have it all figured out, and mostly I make it up as I go along but it’s going ok for me so far.

A few things have helped along the way, so for anyone hoping to follow my footsteps, make a little money online, travel a bit, challenge themselves, even donate a chunk of cash here and there, here are a few things that helped turn me from a skinny-fat 30yo party boy to a content 40yo, probably more helpful for young guys than girls, but here we are:

NOTE: Lots of this may be jarring. Sorry not sorry. I believe that a full life, and a fulfilled life, one where you fulfil your potential, requires suffering. And it’s all worth it in the end. I HATE fluffy woke nonsense – “do your best”, “don’t push yourself too hard”. Life is hard, and that’s ok. The beauty is in the struggle. So, 20 lessons that changed my life:

1) DAILY STACK.

Take your daily multi-vitamins and drink 2+ litres of water a day. If you follow me on insta, you’ll see I take zinc, magnesium, tongkat ali, multi-vit, B12, vit C, turmeric. This is an easy win. Start it and never quit.

2) PROTEIN.

Get your protein in. If you don’t eat meat (like me), supplement. Simple rule: you need 1.5g of protein per kg of your weight. I’m 80kgs, i need 120g per day.

3) I keep an ALKALINE DIET.

That means reduced processed foods, red meat (for me, none), dairy, and refined sugars. This is MASSIVE. Linked to everything from Parkinson’s to cancer. It means I recover from exercise faster, I suffer less after bad sleep, hangovers not as bad. And more importantly, as we age, it keeps us on the straight and narrow.

4) I TRACK MY ALCOHOL.

As a BIG social drinker, there have been points in my life where this has gone way off track. I now have a google document with other friends to keep us accountable of our drinking. This has been a huge game changer for my relationship with alcohol.

5) FAST.

I fast regularly. Normally every week from Sunday night to Tues lunch. Not only does it give my body a break, it’s also great for mental discipline. Something that helps in every walk in life. When I’ve had heavy boozy holidays, or long backpacking trips, i do 48-72 hour fasts to reset. Also, I only eat twice a day 99% of the time. 3 times a day is unnecessary.

6) DON’T GO 3 DAYS WITHOUT REAL EXERCISE.

And don’t be a pussy. A 20 minute chill walk isn’t exercise. Sure, it’s better than nothing. But it’s not exercise. Don’t lie to yourself. In a post-truth era, where ‘body shaming’ and ‘fat acceptance’ is all the rage, it’s dangerous out there. Be true to yourself. Work hard. You need to do 45-60 minutes, high heart-rate stuff. And do it as often as possible. Do it 3-6 times per week. Push yourself. Or you’ll get old quick. If you’ve gone 3 days without it? Drop everything, get up at 5am, and get it in.

7) BIG MUSCLES DON’T EQUAL FITNESS or health.

I know going to the gym and bench pressing feels good. And a six pack in the mirror is lovely and all. But you need more. Lifting weights every day is easy. But you need cardio. Cycle, swim, hike, or ideally run. Instagram fitness guys aren’t fit. If you wanna feel good in the morning, feel strong walking up stairs, and want a healthy heart, put in the cardio. It’s much harder than lifting weights, it requires so much more effort, much more mental strength, and you don’t get the ego boost. But your body, and your mind, will be much better for it.

8) SET GOALS.

And write them down. I have yearly goals, mid-term goals, and long-term goals. Each year, the first week of January I write my goals for the year. I’ve done this for a decade. It keeps me accountable. It’s scary because you have to risk failure. But don’t be pussy. It’s scary to acknowledge them i know. But do it. Own your ambitions. Write them down. And move towards them.

9) TRACK YOUR WEIGHT and body fat %.

Get a smart scale and weight in every week. Don’t skip. When you’ve had a bad week, or even a bad month, it’s easy to want to skip because you know you’re gonna hate the scale. That’s when you need it most. Never skip it. The bad numbers are the ones that’ll jolt you back into action.

10) I TRACK MY NET WORTH WEEKLY You don’t need to be rich to be fulfilled.

But you need money to be free. It’s important. My mum’s new house in Thailand? The charity we run? Everest, south pole etc etc. It all needs money. Let’s not be naive. I have a google doc that tracks my net worth, i update every monday morning. You want a nice retirement without the need of Government help? You need $1m minimum in investments, property etc. That’s only $40k a year on the 4% rule. So even a mill doesn’t give you luxury. So that requires a lot of work, saving, struggle, sacrifice. And if you’re already 40, it requires even more to catch up. GET IT WRITTEN DOWN. TRACK IT. Face reality. And then watch it grow.

11) INVEST.

Pay your investments first each month. It doesn’t matter how little you earn. Start this month. And make it a non-negotiable. Start at 10% of your earnings. If that means you have to cancel your netflix and Apple TV, so be it. And try to increase this to 25%. As you make more, don’t allow the ‘lifestyle creep’ to catch up. You need to invest. EVERY MONTH. Without fail. Unless you’re a genius and gonna sell your business, this is the only way to guarantee becoming a millionaire. Luxuries come after investments.

12) MAKE AN EFFORT WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE.

It’s not just your relationship with your wife that needs effort. Also with your siblings, nephews, nieces, and close friends. Use it or lose it. This bullsh*t stuff we say to appease ourselves like “we don’t speak for years, but it’s like we’ve never been apart” nonsense with old friends? If you didn’t speak for years, you’re not close friends. Make an effort with the people you love. That’s it.
PS You’re not “too busy”. A whatsapp voicemail takes 1/100 of the time another episode of Peaky Blinders takes. Be honest with yourself.

13) BE LEGIT AMBITIOUS.

Don’t aim small. Sure, baby steps can get you far when they’re added up. But reach far. For me, if I was gonna travel, it was every country. Climb a mountain? Make it Everest.
So you Wanna start running? Aim for a marathon this year. Wanna go hiking? Climb Kilimanjaro this year. Don’t let average people hold you back with passive compliments about “doing your best” with your 5k. They don’t want to face their limits. Don’t let them hold you back. You can do more. I promise you. And you know it. So do it.

14) “ADDING 1kg PER YEAR MAKES YOU OLD”.

I read this years ago and it struck such a cord with me. When you hit 35, you see your peers go 2 ways. 1 with a positive attitude, looking fresh, eating well, exercising, still striving for goals and living their lives. And the other way sadly too- living on the sofa, consuming food, youtube and netflix. You get shocked when you see them. Suddenly you see old men. Worse than that, you’ll start to here self-deprecating jokes about “getting old” DON’T BUY THAT SHIT. That’s not my reality, and it doesn’t need to be yours. People are winning Olympic gold medals at 40. David Goggins is nearly 50 FFS. Skip me with that “old men” chat. That’s you buddy, not me.

15) SPEND TIME WITH YOUR PARENTS.

Don’t be “so busy growing up, that you forget your parents are growing old”. As we get older, we realise they won’t be around forever. Treasure them. And again, none of this soft shite where I tell you to “call them”. Absolute bullshit. See them. Holiday with them. Spend your time, effort and money on them. They did it for us. It’s our turn. Calling more doesn’t cut it.

16) EMBRACE STOICISM.

Stoicism is dying out and it’s tragic.. Victimhood is a currency, where everyone seems to want to out-victim each other. It’s nonsense. Life is hard. That’s the point. And the struggle is beautiful. Embrace stoicism. Control what you can control, and watch your world grow and improve. Crying about how unfair the hand you were dealt doesn’t help anyone. I grew up single mum, father in prison, decade+ on welfare blah blah blah. No-one cares. Fix it for yourself. You can do it. The hardships are a blessing to fuel you to something bigger. Get to work.

17) MAKE YOUR MONEY ONLINE.

This is the first step to true freedom. Freelance on upwork, teaching english online, whatever it takes. $1500 online is worth $15k in an office. And if you can make $1500 online, you can make $5k. SEO, blogging, ecommerce, AI, get to it. It’s never been easier. Starting my blog was the single best decision of my life. It all started from there.

18) TRAVEL AND ADVENTURE.

Even better if you can live overseas for a chapter of your life. I understand some people love to be at home, that’s cool too. But once, teach English in Vietnam, get a transfer to Singapore or Dubai. Do your working holiday visa in Australia, Canada or Hong Kong. Opening your mind different cultures means even if you do end up moving home, you’ll be armed with so many new perspectives. Equally, you may find out that there’s more to life than your home town. And have as many adventures as you can. You’ll never regret the people you meet and the way those adventures made you feel alive. Fill your life with those moments, im fact. You can’t lose.

19) YOU’RE NEVER AS YOUNG AS YOU ARE TONIGHT.

You know, life is short. And it only gets shorter. Taking the plunge and chasing your dreams is easier the younger you are. So regardless of how old you are now, it only gets harder as the opportunity costs grow. Do yourself a favour, and whatever it is you’re wishing you did, get the plan together, and get it going now. Or you’ll never do it. A life of ‘what ifs’ would be torture. And you have the power to avoid that. So do so.

20) BACK DOWN.

As someone who used to feel like they had to stand up tall every time I felt someone was challenging me, rightly or wrongly, I realise it’s nonsense. Testosterone, male ego, whatever. It doesn’t help. I back down all the time now. I don’t waste my energy on it. I’m on my journey, and it’s going in the right direction. Some moron wants friction over some nonsense? Good luck mate. See you at the South Pole.

That’s it. 40 years young. Here’s to the next 40.

For the record, I’m far from perfect too. Here are just 3 of a million things I continue to struggle with:

1) I’m a sugar addict. So while my main meals are all super healthy, i find it a struggle not to gorge on chocolate and treats. Believe me when I say I’m working on it.

2) Sleep. Often I sleep ‘enough’. But it’s not deep sleep, and it’s restless. I’ll work on this a lot next year. I’m working on it.

3) Stress. I live in a pretty permanent high-stress state. It’s due to the pressure I put myself under. I have no plans to reduce my goals, so I have to work to reduce the stress I feel under these goals. I’m working on it.

Who am I to spout all this?

Well, If this isn’t for you, all good. But it worked for me. I took myself from a tricky position growing up to being happy, content and fulfilled.

I’ve visited every country, become a multi-millionaire, climbed everest, rowed across oceans, donated hundreds of thousands, built schools, treated my mum like a queen, run across deserts and cycled across countries. All before 40. If those are some of things you aim for, this is the blueprint I used. Enjoy.